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Jared Johnson, aka JJ, 28, lives in House 58 and is a nightmare to his neighbors. Jared inherited the property in 2009, when his great-great-aunt Augusta passed away. The house, a historical 8 bedroom, 4^1/2 bathroom building, was Jared's dreams come true. A lazy stoner with no ambition in life, JJ had been kicked out of several fraternities for failing to, well, enroll in classes. He stopped attending classes when he was 21, but never could quite give up the college life style. His solution for it was to open a student house of sorts in his great-great aunt's house and live off of the rent he charges each of the seven college students who live there. In theory, it works for everyone, but Jared's tendency to have too-loud, too-wild parties at all times during the night, week or weekends, has resulted in several 911 disturbance calls and fines. His answer? Kids will be kids! And if you hear whispers about any pot dealing happening there, you can't always trust the rumor mill! Except, when you can.

William Gamot, 72, better known as "a thousand faces" bill, is perhaps the neighborhood's most eccentric senior citizen. No one has ever been able to tell whether or not Bill's fantasies of being a former CIA agent are true, but the important thing is that he believes it. Whether impaired by a mental disorder or simply bored of retirement, ATF Bill never leaves entertainment to be desired. Often caught up in some sort of paranoid conspiracy theory, the old man walks around town in disguises, each week a new one and each one more obvious than the other - though the entirety of the neighborhood indulges his delusions by pretending they have no idea it is him behind whatever fake identity he has managed to come up with that day. He may be crazy, but he is their kind of crazy and everyone is pretty protective of ATF Bill as it is.

Before you decide to fight with your boyfriend, kick your youngest out of your house, or pinch the butt of the woman who passes out parking tickets, you might want to make sure that Ellie Ellison isn't around. If you have a secret you don't want anyone to know, she'll get her hands on it and make it fodder for her Sunday morning grocery trips. Time to gossip, ladies! Then again, if you ever want to know what's going on in Town Square, Ellie would be happy to tell you! Much obliged, even. But you might want to duck when passing by her window. She's watching you.

If it isn't enough that you have to look around to make sure Ellie Ellison isn't watching you, you might want to check your back to make sure that Ms. Rogers, the town's psychic, isn't going to sneak up, tap you on your shoulder, and tell you something about your future you'd rather not know. Like how you're going to die at the age of 38, that your boss is sleeping with your wife, or that the Patriots aren't going to the Super Bowl this year... again. Sure, she's wrong 99.9% of the time, but the last thing you want to hear before Happy Hour is one of her predictions. She's been right a handful of times, and you don't want the next time to be you.

You've heard everything good and bad about “The Mad Batter's” baked goods. You've heard he's a nice guy and they're the best treats you'll eat in your life. They're like a trip to heaven on a Monday morning, and blowing on a daffodil to make a wish. Then again, you've also heard that he was the one who murdered his wife. And that secret ingredient in all his goodies? Her fat. Maybe she was murdered before you got here, or maybe she's just a vague memory to you, but she was a large woman, and the Mad Batter would need a lot of freezers for all that fat. Either way, chances are you shelve your concerns about his baking, chat him up before you head off to work, and take a bite of a cupcake before wondering: Really, what is it that makes them so good?

Raj Kuppali is lucky enough to have the unending supply of his dad's cash without the responsibility to go along with it. In fact, Mr. Kuppali has forbidden him from even looking at the family's business accounts, because he just might jinx their luck. Raj doesn't mind too much. Why worry himself with finances and clients when he could go big! Every major holiday, and sometimes just for a Tuesday, Raj dips into his father's deep pockets and the town reaps the benefits. Carousels, moon bounces, fireworks, whack-a-mole, seasonal food, maybe a bottle of Jaeger (don't tell the cops! though he could just pay them off)—if he can dream it up, you and your kids will be able to join it. So while he's not the warmest of people, it might be a good idea to swing past lot 17, just in case.